Hiding From Henry
by FlyYouFools
Summary: Emma and Regina are in the early weeks of their relationship and have yet to tell Henry. They're fooling round but not fooling their son one bit. A one-shot, kinda-sorta sequel to Countermeasures.


**AN: Set post S2, three years in the future, this one-shot fleshes out a portion of the Countermeasures epilogue. It's not necessary to read that story first, but why not? It's rather cute, if I do say so myself, and that's where all the good SQ-getting-together stuff happens. I obviously own nothing in regards to Once. If I did, you'd be watching this from your couch on a Sunday night - and the ratings would be outstanding. Thanks to the wonderful Alaska829Snow for the beta.**

_God, they are so bad at this._

How one mother was stealthy enough to be an evil mastermind and the other successful enough to trick and trap bail-jumpers, he'd never know. They couldn't even sneak their affair past a 14-year-old boy.

The teen was in his bedroom half texting friends, half doing a geometry assignment and full-on trying to ignore the intermittent clatter from his mother's room, with which he shared a wall.

The routine was the same every time: At 9 pm, Henry would kiss his mother goodnight, promise to finish his homework and shut the door when he reached his room. Like clockwork, he'd hear the front door softly open and close. They tried to do it quietly, but his room was directly over the entrance; he'd feel the vibration up the wall and knew the muffled noise. After all, he'd tried the same thing himself from time to time.

About 30 to 40 minutes later, he'd make out footfalls on the stairs. His mother would have removed her heels, Emma following, trying to be quiet but failing as her boots landed on seemingly every crack and squeaky step in the staircase.

There'd be a random "Sshhh!" here and there – this part he enjoyed. It was fun to hear his mom frantically hiss at Emma, unable to scold loudly. He could imagine her glare and a sheepish look of silent apology from the blonde.

As soon as he'd hear the door shut, that was his cue to turn on his noise-canceling headphones and turn up the volume of his music. He didn't want to imagine any more. Before he adopted the practice he once heard a small yelp, then a giggle, through the wall. Henry had never heard those noises come from his mother's bedroom before and he never wanted to hear them again. Sure, he was interested in the behind-closed-doors goings-on of girls, but never, _ever_ his mothers. Since then it became a habit – door shuts, headphones on.

The nearly-nightly ritual always left the teenager with two questions: _How could they possibly think they were getting away with this?_ and _When are they going to tell me?_

XXXX

Despite the change in their relationship, family dinner continued each Wednesday night, although now his mothers had to pretend to merely tolerate each other. They were awful at it, and at least once a meal he'd catch them stealing glances or sharing a secret smile. _How blind do they think I am?_ The teenager was starting to get offended, although once in a while, their old dynamic reappeared.

One night Henry sat and watched his mother as she took dinner out of the oven. "Mom, I've never seen you in shorts."

"Do you like them? They're culottes."

Emma snorted as she set a dish of rice on the table, then sat down. "That's French for 'fancy shorts'. "

"They're not shorts, Miss Swan. Culottes are technically pants."

"They're technically _ridiculous_. If you want to wear shorts, let me cut off a pair of your jeans. Oh, wait," she teased, "you don't own jeans."

"I do and I'm not letting you take a blade to them. You'd probably try to use your father's sword and simply hurl it at my closet from across the room, hoping to hit them."

"_Why_ did I ever tell you that story?"

Henry jumped in, he couldn't resist playing dumb. "You guys done? You sound like Jake's parents – and they're, you know, married." The teen dropped his chin to hide his smirk.

The women's faces paled a shade as Regina tried to serve dinner – and not drop it - after their son's observation. "Em—, er, uh, Miss Swan, would you like gravy?"

Henry quietly chuckled into his glass of milk.

XXXX

"Mom," he fished, "are you OK?"

Regina looked up from her newspaper, knitting her brows. "Of course, dear. I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Henry took a seat on the other side of her desk. "I just…I heard a noise last night and I was worried you might be having a nightmare, thinking about, _you know_…or something."

After being kidnapped to and rescued from Neverland, Henry couldn't bring himself to actually say the name, instead referring to it as "you know," "there" or "that place." He never had to elaborate, Regina _did_ know and she understood why.

The boy felt a touch guilty needling his mother this way, invoking "that place," even in allusion, but the pair was getting so sloppy about their interactions it was driving him crazy. He was also starting to get insulted that his mothers apparently thought he was blind; this was one of the last straws. His plan of poking them into a confession wasn't working. He hated being lied to and all this subterfuge reminded him of Emma's first year in town. The teen was one step away from calling them on it and confronting them outright.

"A noise from where?"

"Your room."

"Oh."

Regina placed her paper on the desk and walked around to face him. "I'm fine, dear," she said sincerely. "If I wasn't, I promise you I would see Dr. Hopper."

Henry knew she was hiding her relationship with Emma, but that statement was true. Regina reached down and ruffled his hair, planting a kiss on the crown of his head.

"Hey!" he objected with a smile. "I didn't OK an extra kiss."

"Oh, really? You're going to ration _my_ affection?" She comically narrowed her eyes and put on her best menacing voice. "I welcome you to try."

Henry pushed off the chair, rose to his full height and smirked at her, nearly eye to eye.

He tugged her into a one-armed hug, then walked out of the room. "I'm going to Grace's, I'll see you for dinner."

"Phone _on_!" she reminded, returning to her desk and sitting down, a wistful look on her face. She grabbed her cell and typed out a quick message:

**We need to talk to Henry tonight.**

XXXX

That evening, Regina and Emma walked into the sitting room, turned off the TV and faced Henry on the couch.

"Darling, your mother and I would like to talk to you." Regina walked over to sit on the opposite end of the couch as Emma grabbed a chair and sat next to her.

The women were so serious and so focused, for a minute Henry thought he was in big trouble, wincing at the thought. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No." Emma looked confused by his question.

_Ah,_ he realized. _Finally._

"Henry…" Regina started, only to immediately pause, her confidence waning. She looked pleadingly at Emma, who gently took her hand and held it.

"Hen, your Mom and I, we…we like each other."

Henry pretended not to have noticed the hand-holding and decided to make them work for it, just a bit.

"That's great, but I thought you were already getting along OK."

"We were," Regina said with a hopeful smile. "We are."

He tried his best to look confused, squinting and cocking his head. "So what did you need to talk to me about?"

Regina once again looked at her partner to bail her out.

"Kid, we _like_ each other. We have, um, feelings for each other. We're dating."

The women stared at their son as if he were a bomb on which they just cut a wire, waiting for the aftermath.

Henry burst out laughing at their terrified faces. "Seriously? I knew the next day. You guys would be the worst poker players ever…wait, do you want to play some poker? I need to save up for a car." Thrilled to have the upper hand, he couldn't resist a final jab: "Plus, you know, I'm not deaf."

His mothers' faces were equal parts angry, flustered and appalled, which only made him laugh harder. Henry ran them through their inadvertent nightly timetable, much to their horror. "Relax, when you shut your door, I put on my headphones."

Regina gasped at the implication while Emma lowered her head to her hands.

The brunette's eyes widened as a blush burned up her face. "That's enough insolence, young man," she warned.

Emma reached over and patted him gently on his cheek, a thinly veiled threat to wrap it up. "You are your mother's son, that's for damn sure. We're sorry, next time we'll —"

"Don't! I don't want to know!" He held up his hands and grimaced in mock surrender. "Listen, I'm OK with this. It's cool. I just want you guys happy. You _deserve_ to be happy." He studied them for a few seconds. "Are you?"

Regina looked at Emma and answered simply, "Yes." Emma lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of Regina's. "Yup."

"Then that's all the matters."

The women stared at their son, somewhat shocked they were just logically schooled in emotions and relationships by a high-school freshman.

"I do have one question," he said, looking at Emma. "How did you get here every night? I never heard the Bug."

"I walked," she replied, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"You _walked_?" Henry was incredulous; he would have looked less stunned had Emma said she arrived on a magic carpet.

Regina looked at her son, aghast. "Out of all of this, _that's_ what surprises you most?"

"It's, like, a 20-minute walk," he said, defending his response. "It's dark out - and cold."

"Hey, your Mom's worth it," Emma said with a warm smile.

"Gross."

"Oh, shit, no, Hen, I didn't mean it like that!"

"Emma! Language!"

"Ah, my brain!" Henry cried. "Not like _that_, I didn't mean it like _that_. Ah, God, I'll never sleep tonight."

Regina rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Don't worry, Miss Swan will be heading back to her apartment."

"Oh, come on, Regina," Emma whined.

"And on that note, I am going upstairs and putting on my headphones." He stood and walked over to this mothers, bending over to place a quick kiss on Regina's forehead. "I love you." He repeated the motion on Emma. "And I love you."

Walking out of the room, Henry turned and addressed Regina: "Mom, let her stay," then looked at Emma. "Just don't use all of the hot water, I _know_ you."

Emma put her arm around the brunette and enveloped her in a hug, kissing her cheek with a loud smack. "I got the OK from the man of the house. I'm staying."

Regina smiled at her insolent girlfriend, "I suppose you are."

**Reviews much appreciated.**


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